Love in a Lifetime

2026-06-28

Audio clip

NotesTranscript

Notes

Immigration and Early Life in Canada

  • Came to Canada under family pressure, despite not wanting to leave Paraguay
  • Had only ~$500 of his own money at the time; the rest was borrowed
  • Borrowed money used to buy motorbikes for transportation in Paraguay before the move
  • Grandma initially refused to come; eventually agreed, and her parents followed
  • Arrival was rough: no money, no connections, no sense of how things would work out
  • Spent evenings alone, missing Paraguay deeply
    • “My best part was in Paraguay, and here I don’t know anybody”
  • Younger siblings adapted more easily: some went to school, one brother even graduated

Marriage and Relationship with Grandma

  • Met Grandma through a mutual friend (Cornie), who was rarely home
  • Grandma worked on a family farm: peanuts, cotton, corn, milking cows
  • Dated for three weeks; she was ready to marry after just three weeks
  • She briefly broke things off, then came back and apologized
  • First six months of marriage were difficult, adjusting to roles and expectations
    • “To be called lord of the house, it has to be earned”
  • Once Grandma arrived in Canada, she changed quickly and loved it from day one
    • Said she would not have moved back even if offered the chance

Belonging, Identity, and Feeling Foreign

  • Spent years bitter about being in Canada; did not accept it for a long time
  • Still feels like a foreigner at times, even decades later
    • Sits quietly at coffee groups listening to stories from others’ Canadian childhoods
    • “I don’t have those things to talk about”
  • Father, who moved at age 12, stepped off the plane in Toronto and said “Thank God I’m back home”
    • Opposite experience: father felt at home in Canada; John felt at home in Paraguay
  • Now deeply grateful his parents pushed him to come
    • “If you offered me a million dollars, I wouldn’t move to Paraguay”
    • Whole family is here; no reason to leave

Real Estate and Property

  • Has lived in current house for 18 years (since September 2008)
  • In 2012, bought the neighboring property for $300,000
    • Owner wanted $350,000; negotiated down knowing about an illegal electrical panel and hazardous basement wiring
    • Realtor eventually advised the owner to accept the $300,000 offer
    • Spent ~$22,000 on renovations: added a bathroom, drywall, and windows
  • Property now estimated worth over $1 million; lot alone could fetch ~$900,000
  • Rented the neighboring house for 12 years to the same couple
    • Collected ~$200,000 in rent with no issues; tenants did their own repairs
    • Gave them notice reluctantly: “They were so happy, I just couldn’t do it”

Future Plans and Family Pressure

  • Kids pressing them to move to Alberta to be closer
  • Considering options but waiting until after upcoming surgery to decide
    • “Let’s deal with my surgery first, then we’ll make a decision”
  • One idea: buy a larger home together with family, with a separate unit
  • Fond of the idea of a smaller town but uncertain about making such a big move at this stage of life
    • Concern about leaving friends and community behind

Chat with meeting transcript: https://notes.granola.ai/t/dd181a17-376e-4aa2-9032-af5311fa6465

Transcript

MeTalked First I said to Grandma, I'm not going. To like my ticket was paid. You know, time tickets were paid. So. But my mom and dad, they put so much cracker on me. That they wanted me to come along. First of all. As I told you before, I was a cat. I had the biggest earner, you know? Oh, okay. See, my mom and dad really depended on me. I made the most money because I was. You know, like 23 and I had. A good job, good pain drop. So, you know, I paid, I give all the money to mom and dad. Till it turned 23. I never grumbled or not. Hey, why? Clothes are washed every day? I only have to do is put clean clothes on and the food was there. Why would I want to move? Yeah. It doesn't make sense. You know, I can't understand. Guys. When they have a sip good at home. I have nothing to complain. So. When they turn 23. My dad said, you don't have to pay. He gives any money anymore. But. But you can stay. Stay home and live at home for free. So this happened, like, June the 25th. Now, of course. And at that time, I earned some money, but not much. There was change of jobs. And so there was. The job was very. Light, so I didn't. When I went. I had approximately. 500 my own. That's all the money had. The rest was borrowed money, you know? So. So that's what I did. I wish. Somebody the wish I'd stayed a little bit longer and earned some more money, you know? But it worked out a lot good. Borrowing the money. So the money that I borrowed. I used it over there to buy brand new motorbikes. Okay. So I needed some transportation. You know, for. For me and my grandma, you know. To go and visit. So that's what I. I had a motorbike. To. Oh. I think in January I sold it already. To somebody quite a bit less, you know, I lost some money there. So. See. Problems Granma didn't want to move the car. And I said to Grandma. There is no way that I can pay my debts from there. Right. 1500 was a lot of money for there. Okay. Yeah. So finally. All of a sudden Grana said, yeah, okay. Let's move on to Canada. So, of course, soon as he decided to come, her mom and dad decide to come, too, so. Right. Everything worked out very nice. I, when I came back with her. If I would have had the money, I would have turned around glory back. Really? Back to Paraguay or back. Back to Paraguay. Yeah. Well, first of all. That Granma wasn't received when my mom and dad. Okay. And the whole thing, it was just to me, the whole picture just looked so dark. Yeah. No money, no nothing. I just. I just couldn't see through. How. How are we going to make it? But we hung in there. And. And moved on. So there we are. You know? That's what we have here. Didn't come overnight. Right? 57 years. No, not quite. I mean, we've been living here now. It will be September. 1st. We'll be living in this house 18 years. 18. Wow. So things don't work very well. And. Then in 2012. The neighbor want to sell this place. And, and, I mean, I wasn't. We were in a position to buy it, you know, because we don't know anybody any money. So basically. I just went to the bank and I said, I needed 300. You're a thousand dollars. Bank City. Here it is, right? Just against, like. Our house was flattered against it. For. A couple of years. Like. Line of credit. Okay. After a couple years, we went and took a marlish out against our place and paid us up. So we haven't had any deaths in this place. Now. 2014. Yeah. So. We. Had the, the owner wanted. 350 000. I said, no. Pay no more 300 000. One day had a real break. He sent out a real from Northern cougar. He loves most of them on tuber. Okay. Yeah. The owner. So the top of the realtor. And he got the house of horse 350. But no, it's not. Yeah. Because I knew things what he didn't know. If I would have respect, I wouldn't pass it all. Because the electrical panel was illegal. Okay. And then the basement wires hanging all over the place like the wires. You know, he was a computer drawing. He had about 500 000 computer equipment in there. Wow. So. We talked about it and he thought it was. No, no, no, no. I said 300 000. That's it. Nope. He said, I know the real estate market. Not here. I said over there. Your solution is so lost 287. What makes you think that this is 350? Yeah. So finally he left and had gone to the owner. And he had said he owned to the owner of. L. I looked at your house. We might be able to put it on the market for. For 320. Maybe. Yeah, no more number time. And if it sells. For 310, by the time it's commissioned, there's not left. You have to be all right. If your neighbor wants to pay you 300 000, you sell it to him. So. Then he phoned me back. And. He said, John, give me an offer so I can give him up with 300 as it is. Okay. No inspection. Yeah. Yeah. See, there's a big difference if you have no subject. What a person will go for. Right. So because I knew I had the money, I talked to the bank already. Everything was in place. And I knew that I would spend. How will I spend twenty two thousand dollars? I finished a bit longer. There was no bathroom downstairs. Got the nice bathroom with the shower and all that in there and drywall whole thing and put a couple more windows in. So by the time I was done was. 22 000. Okay. So. Yeah. And that's worse now. That's worse than paper. One million dollars of this. One right beside you here. Wow. I probably. I don't think I couldn't get up because it's a big lot. Every trot and town here and I was 900 000 just for the lot. Wow. Yeah. And those are nuts. Those are not so big laugh, too. This is a big lap in that one, too. So I know what would happen if we would sell that now. He's thinking to come and tear it down and build a brand new big track on there. I mean, wouldn't matter to me. Sure. Yeah. Once I sell it for a good price, they can do what they can do what they want. Yeah. So. That's for the saturated. Okay. Did you ever live in this house beside? No, you didn't. Okay. When we bought it in 2012. We had this in mind that rented out maybe a couple of years on to move in there. We had the first two years. We had an older couple living in there. They moved out to make a trip to their daughter. Okay. And then we put it on. A market for rent. And then we got this couple coming. In. So. And we ended up. We're blessed with real good parental couple growth. S. How it is. Yeah. Why not? Yeah. They have made me a lot of money. They had given me in 12 years. 200 000, right? Yeah. So. Never had any problem with. Nothing. And if something had to be fixed, he did it himself. Yeah. That's great. Those are. Class one. Class A1 tenants, you know? We actually wanted to give them a long time ago already. And notice. But. We couldn't just couldn't. I couldn't do it. Yeah. They were so happy. And they always told us unless you kick us off, you're not moving. Well, that was a school close by with their daughter and son went to school close by. I mean. Right now. I'm not ready to sell it all, but. But I can. I can see it. That. You don't have to. Right. Just because of our situation. That kids are really pressing us, too. Oh, are they? Mom and dad. Move now. Well, you can think. Right? And your mom's parents, they really want us to move alberta when it should happen. I don't know. I would like to move it. I like mouse and app. Yeah. It's a nice smaller town. And our egg. I. Don't know. If we would. We would make it our age to make that big move. That's a long move. Give up all our friends. Give up. And everything. So. I don't know. Well, first of all, I told my family, let's deal with my surgery. Yeah. Once my situation is over, we know then. Then we'll make it a decision. Yeah. Makes another one was to buy a big house with them together. Okay. Like that extra unit. Yeah. To limit themselves because they want to take care of us. Right. So. We'll take the order. Yeah. Okay. No, that's three owls. You could each have a fun. They do. Yeah. Once they started going to school and walking to school every day. How far is the school photos? Lynx is right in our backyard. It's right behind. But briels is about a 15 minute walk. 15 minute walk. Yeah. Is it safe to walk? It's very, very safe. Yeah. But there were a few times that she would just stay behind after school and play with her friends or do extra homework and do a couple years ago and make in los angeles. Miss day didn't motel. Not very far from the airport. When we got down the cruise, we wanted to go out. For dinner one night. And first of all, the security guard there for a hotel, he was carrying a gun. Really? I said, do you guys carry gun to it? Oh, yeah. You certain pizzas we have to carry guns. Wow. Now we want to go two blocks. For dinner. Oh, no, no, no, no. He said, you don't go. You're not safety at all. Wow. You cannot go on a road. To the two blocks to the restaurant. Wow. That's why I asked. Is it safe to. Yeah, yeah. No, it's very safe in utah. Very, very safe. He had been shooting. Just terrible. Yeah, there was so much shooting, like killing people. Well, I mean, everywhere. Not just. You don't know. You don't know if you're next. Week. They had taken. What did you say? Please. 35 drivers of the road. He had been driving over 61 forana over speed. In it. Oh, my goodness. That's terrible. It's just terrible. You're dangerous. You're gonna kill somebody, you know? What was. What was Grandma like when she was younger? Like, what. What made you. Want to marry her or want to date her? When we were married? Before you were married. Like, what made you notice her? Because you were going with your friend, right? Corny, I think you said his name. What was it? What was your friend's name? That you went to go find girls with? Courtney, did you say? Or. Yeah. So. Well, she was most of the time. Because the nanny. Right? He has been in. He was an any since he was 12 years old. Yeah. He was hardly ever home. Okay. You know, so then one feels home. She worked on a farm. He had a farm. Peanuts and cotton and corn and melting. They were milking a bunch of cows. Yeah. So. Yeah, I don't know what watercolor. When you just deal with her on Sunday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You only find out what she is once you're married. You can know that already. Yeah. Things. Things show up that you didn't know about. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah, I mean, pretty much. She was nice. You almost dumped. Dumped me at a normal tongue, but really. Yeah. So I don't know what her problem was. But. Then she came back. And apologized and begged me again to come. So. Unds funny. Hi, I really loved her, you know? And I guess she loved me, too. So that leaving her there was going to do. That was a killer. Was it hard for her, too? You know, this felt like I broke her up in bits and pieces. Of my heart was some bits and pieces, man. I have. I don't know how many times I tried. Really? Come. Come to a foreign country. You don't know anybody. Not a soul. And you leave your. Your best part in Paraguay. You can phone. And we sat evening for evening. We sat at home. Nothing there. At daytime. Yes, we work. But bears down about that evening. Except many notes and seven fried. That's my best part of the parable. And here I don't know anybody. So I found. It. Now I don't know how hard she has found, but I found it very, very hard. Wouldn't want to do it again. Yeah. No. It was like that for Courtney and I when she went to Toronto a couple years ago and we were already married. But I just. You're apart for way too long. That's true. Yeah. What was your. It's amazing how. How quick you realize it. Yeah. No wonder God needs a partner. Yeah. Yeah. He was lonely. Yeah. He also. Yeah. Manue went back. For the first couple a week or two. I wasn't quite sure. If I'm doing the right thing. There were a couple of times I felt. Like taking up and running. It almost felt like he got cold over, you know, the love was not there. But I guess. That was consistent. You know, we dated for three weeks every night. And I was actually. I was actually surprised or see. He said I was three. After three weeks. She was ready to get married. Street criteria is right. I have not expected. Yeah, that's quick. Yeah. So. It was. The first. Six months when we were married. It was. It was not very. Not very exciting. Not very exciting. Chris, though. Every man has this attitude. You're the boss and the boss, right? Yeah. And you really find out. You're not a boss. I heard years ago, Pastor evangelist. He said to be. To be called the lord of the house. It has to be earned. That's what I have found. Out. You have to earn it to. To be respect. Yeah. It's the lord of the house. So then especially tiger came to Canada. Things weren't. Not the greatest, but. But then when they came kind of all of a sudden, things changed very quick. She was all of a sudden. Totally different woman. You know? So. And, I mean, and she was very happy. She. Even if I would have moved back to you, would have said, no, really. She liked Canada. She liked it from day one. Really? Okay. Yeah. Well, my problem, why I didn't like it to the whole drama that I went through, right? Yeah. I actually was. A number of years bitter. Okay. I did not accept to be here. I was. There. I probably might have lots of money would look like a Paraguay. Okay. So that's all. That's what happened. You know, they. Those two years that I went through and all. That. Made me. Almost angry. Yeah. And we now I am very, very, very thankful that my mom and dad made me check out the cat. You know, that's the best what my mom and dad could do for me also. Now I wouldn't. If you offered me a million dollar, I wouldn't move to Paraguay. Just. Just for the move. There's absolutely nothing there for me anymore. Right? No, I have my whole family here. Everybody's here. My siblings out there and her siblings are here. Melon family wine. The victims would I tell me what? Would they want to move to paragraph? Yeah. Yes, that's my homeland. I've been twice back. The minute I step out of the plane and I sunshine Paraguay, I I feel like I'm home. I'm back now in home country. See. If you would move to a different country now, you would. Not how long you all the field a foreigner. That's how I feel. I can feel it. I'm a foreigner. Here. Yeah. Okay. People are talking years ago to a guy. He said, john, doesn't matter how many of you feel like a foreigner. The people down here, the whole generation is grew up different. Totally different environment. For instance, when I go here to these coffee guys, those are all guys. They were born here. They all grew up. A lot of times I just sit and listen while they talk. They talk about things that I haven't heard. From their school, from their high school. What they all have experience, you know? And like you sit there, I don't have anything to talk about. A lot of night. How come you're so quiet? Well. I'm just listening what you have to say. I don't. I don't have those things to talk about what you have, you know, so. Yeah. I said, I'm glad you said, listen. Yeah. See, my younger siblings, they didn't have that problem. Some of them feeder, tina. Mary and Jeff elevant to school for them. My brother, he graduated even. So they didn't find it as difficult as I did. Well, of course, they didn't have the situation that I had. Leaving the best part in paragraph. Right. Yeah. So, you know, I mean. Thank God. I'm very thankful. I'm very thankful that mir. Ror. And how he has blessed me with everything. So why would I go anywhere? Why would you want to go back? Yeah. I have absolutely no reason. Yeah. He has. The Lord has blessed me here left and right. And more than I deserves, you know? Talking about foam. My dad had been 39 years in paragraph. When we. It came to Canada. When he stepped out of. The airport in toronto, he said, thank God I'm back home. Really? So he felt home in Canada, but you felt home in paraguay. And he was 14 years old. 12 years old when he moved, right? Wow. I mean, I just have to go to Mexico. I almost feel home already because the. The total environment. Yeah. The people, the language. And all that. And the temperature, it feels so much like Paraguay. You know, I would have no problem living in Mexico. I would love me, Mexico. I know that won't happen. Yeah. Yeah. Will stay right here. Where I am. Till the day. So the day comes with a more fixed me. And then. That kind of be what it wants to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. True. Are you moving back to Canada sometime? We'll see. Last time they were living in the rainbow. They were there. And he was. A very jealous men. You know. It was too bad. Well they have one son and he had so much trouble with the police, you know. So he kind of had this idea of all the police fault. And. That's no, it was very sad. That's too bad. Superstore. Can we just